


So Much For My Happy Ending

by hchollym



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Dark, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Implied Murder, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jealousy, Language, M/M, Not Happy, Paranoia, Technically Statutory Rape, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:10:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hchollym/pseuds/hchollym
Summary: Peter should have known that this wouldn’t end with a happily ever after like the Disney fairytales.*Please read the warnings!





	So Much For My Happy Ending

**Author's Note:**

> First, please read the warnings. This is not a happy story, and it does not have a happy ending. If you do not want to read something dark (which is understandable), then turn back now.
> 
> Second, I actually really love Spideypool, so please don’t think that this is me bashing Wade or the couple. My depression has just really been getting to me, so I felt the need to write this, and Wade fit into it well because of his mental instability. 
> 
> Third, this story is probably the most personal thing I’ve ever written; aside from the mutant genes and super powers, this was based a lot on my own experiences in an abusive relationship. Therefore, please be considerate in your comments and don’t bash Peter for staying in this type of relationship. It really is more complicated than I could ever convey in a story. 
> 
> The title is taken from the song “My Happy Ending” by Avril Lavigne.

Peter should have known that this wouldn’t end with a happily ever after like the Disney fairytales. It was more like the original stories by Hans Christian Anderson, where Ariel’s transformation to being human leaves her feeling like she is constantly walking on sharp knives and the prince never returns her affection, so she throws herself off the ship to die. It might sound dramatic, but that version was far closer to Peter’s own tale.

...

When Spider-Man first met Deadpool, he knew the man was dangerous. He was a mercenary, for fuck’s sake; that should have been enough for Peter to run in the opposite direction. He hadn’t even been interested at first (in any way, shape, or form), but Deadpool was flirtatious and surprisingly charming. 

Even his insanity was a bit endearing, because his conversations with himself were usually self-loathing or humorous. He was a “villain” but he also had morals. He was an enigma, and because of that, Peter found him hard to resist. He was like the bad boy with the heart of gold that Peter always saw in the romantic movies his Aunt May watched. 

If Peter was being completely honest with himself, he also enjoyed the attention that Deadpool gave him. Mr. Stark had taken away his suit – and with it, his hope and confidence. He was back to wearing his original suit, which now seemed completely inadequate compared to the one Mr. Stark had made for him. He felt like a failure; a screw-up. 

Lately, he hadn’t been a good friend or a good hero, and it was like nothing he did ever turned out right. He had even managed to disappoint his childhood idol, and he didn’t think that he could sink much lower. Yet there was Deadpool, picking up the broken shards of his self-esteem and putting it back together again; making Peter feel like he was going to be okay. 

The sex that followed soon after was mind-blowing (not that Peter had much experience to compare it to, but he had a feeling that Wade was definitely talented). The mercenary could bring Peter to the edge and then stop until he was whining and begging for release. He could play Peter’s body like a harp, and Peter physically _ached_ for his touch. 

They fucked anywhere and everywhere, from alleys to the tops of buildings, and Peter would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a thrill from the possibility of getting caught. He never considered himself an exhibitionist before, but Deadpool had changed a lot of his original assumptions. 

They didn’t remove their masks until long after their relationship turned sexual. Peter kept reminding himself that it was smarter if Wade never saw his face, but he couldn’t stay strong forever. He lost all sense of control; got caught up in a false sense of security, trusting Deadpool against his better judgement. Peter wanted so desperately to believe the beautiful lies that tumbled from Wade’s lips. He wanted to believe that Wade was better because of Peter; was better _for_ Peter. 

Wade took off his mask first. Once he got over the initial shock, Peter wasn’t bothered by the scars. In fact, he _liked_ them. They were bumpy yet soft, and Peter enjoyed running his fingers over them. They were physical reminders that Wade was strong; a survivor. Wade’s body was still powerful and toned, and Peter still thought that he was gorgeous. Besides, underneath it all, he was still Wade; the man that Peter had completely fallen for. If anything, the scars made him unique and special.

When Peter finally removed his own mask, Deadpool had looked shocked. Peter had been terrified that the mercenary was disappointed, but Wade had practically growled, kissing him possessively. Peter loved the feeling of being _his_ ; of being treasured and owned so wholly and completely by someone else. It was intoxicating. Wade left marks all over him that night, and it made Peter feel like maybe he was special too. 

Wade wanted his attention all of the time, and it made Peter feel wonderfully warm all over. He loved that Wade cared about him enough to always want him around. Wade’s feelings were hurt whenever Peter wanted to spend time with Ned or even his Aunt May. The mercenary always claimed that Peter didn’t understand what it was like to be in a “real” relationship, and it always made Peter feel guilty. He didn’t want to ruin what he and Wade had built, so he usually ended up cancelling his other plans. 

Peter had never experienced a relationship that was so consuming, and it was overwhelming, but in a good way. It felt passionate, and the highs were so good that Peter thought he might be in heaven. He deluded himself into thinking that the lows wouldn’t be just as drastic.

...

Peter wasn’t sure of the exact moment that things started to change. No, that wasn’t true; he remembered perfectly.

Mr. Stark had been proud of his work taking down the Vulture, offering him a spot as an Avenger. Peter had turned him down, knowing that it would complicate things too much with Wade; he didn’t want to put their relationship through that type of strain yet. Mr. Stark had given him the suit back anyway, much to his dismay and joy. He had been so excited that he went straight to Wade to show him, but the man’s eyes had darkened upon seeing the material. 

“Where did you get that from?” His voice was rough, seething, and Peter’s heart sped up in his chest, confused as to the sudden change in his lover’s demeanor. 

“Mr. Stark gave it back to me, even though I told him that I wasn’t ready to be an Avenger…” Peter trailed off at the fury that flashed through Wade’s eyes, and he was suddenly pushed up against the wall, Wade’s grip on his forearms painfully tight. 

“He asked you to join his little group, huh?” Wade’s voice was condescending, and it made Peter feel small. He squirmed against the man pressed against him, not wanting to use his super strength against someone he cared about. 

“Yes, but I said no,” Peter told him sincerely, confused as to why Wade was so angry. The mercenary laughed humorlessly, his eyes blazing.

“I’m sure Mr. Stark was disappointed not to have his new fuck toy to play with,” he spat out, and Peter’s eyes widened. 

“What? I haven’t, I mean, I would never!” he exclaimed. Why would Wade even think that? Wade gripped him tighter, getting right up into his face. 

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Peter. I know that you’ve looked up to him since you were a kid. Hell, you probably begged him to be on your knees and sucking his cock,” he said cruelly, and Peter gaped at his boyfriend. This was insane. 

“Wade, I would never! I don’t want Mr. Stark like that; I only want you.” Peter looked pleadingly into Wade’s eyes, and Deadpool blinked, slowly pulling back. He looked away guiltily, pulling his hands off Peter’s arms and rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “It’s just sometimes, the boxes make me think things that aren’t real.” He looked back to Peter pleadingly, willing him to understand, and Peter swallowed. 

“Just, just try not to believe them, okay?” Peter said weakly, still shaken from the ordeal, and Wade nodded eagerly. He kissed Peter soundly, and while the tension remained in Peter’s body for a while after, he knew that it wasn’t Wade’s fault. He couldn’t help it if the boxes were messing with his head, and Wade would try to do better from now on. 

...

It was two weeks later when Wade hit him for the first time. The blunt impact stung Peter’s cheek, forcing his face sideways. He had looked at Wade with wide eyes, not really in fear, but rather in absolute heartbreak. They had been arguing about Mr. Stark _again_. Wade went through Peter’s phone and found text messages from the other man. 

There was nothing wrong with the messages; just updates on his patrol, questions about Mr. Stark’s new suit design, and a few “good nights.” Peter didn’t see what the big deal was, but he had come to realize that Wade was particularly insecure about Peter’s friendship with Tony, though the younger boy couldn’t fathom as to why. He didn’t think of Tony like that. Mr. Stark was his mentor though, so how could Wade expect Peter to just ignore him?

The mercenary had tried to make him choose, and Peter had gotten angry. He told Deadpool that he was acting crazy, and that’s when Wade smacked him. The emotional pain hurt far worse than the physical. Peter never thought that Wade would stoop to that level. He couldn’t believe that the other man was willing to just throw away their relationship.

And that was exactly what he had done. Peter _had_ to walk away now; he wasn’t one of those people that stayed with someone after they hit him. He wasn’t pathetic. Of course he had sympathy for the people that stayed too long in domestic abuse situations, but that wasn’t him. He was Spider-Man. He wasn’t a victim. He turned to leave, feeling the tears sting at his eyes, but Wade had grabbed his arm. Peter flinched. 

“Don’t touch me,” he said with as much strength and resolve as he could muster, glaring at Wade. Wade pulled back, a desperate expression on his face. 

“Peter, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s just, when you called me crazy – you know how much that hurts me.” Wade was begging with his eyes, and even though Peter felt guilty for calling him crazy (which was a sore spot for the mercenary), he wasn’t going to give in. 

“It doesn’t matter! You shouldn’t have reacted that way!” He practically yelled, unable to keep his voice under control, and Wade looked down in shame. 

“I know, I know. I’m a screw-up. I mess up everything good in my life,” Wade said with self-loathing, and Peter hesitated, unsure of how to deal with this vulnerable version of the mercenary. Wade looked up at him with teary eyes, and Peter swallowed over the lump in his throat. 

“I know that I don’t deserve you, but I love you so much, Peter. You make me want to be a better person. I need you. Without you, I am nothing,” Wade said with conviction. Peter remembered saying a similar phrase about his suit a few months ago; remembered how horrible it felt when Mr. Stark had taken it away anyway.

Peter had spiraled into a dark place in his head, and that was _without_ the boxes giving him self-destructive and dangerous ideas. Peter was suddenly terrified of how bad it would get for Wade if he started down that path. No matter how upset he was, he didn’t want Wade to suffer. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Don’t ever hit me again, Wade,” Peter said gravely. It was a warning, and Wade nodded eagerly, like a puppy wanting to please its master. 

“I won’t, I promise,” he assured Peter. The younger man let himself be kissed, a knot forming in his stomach, but he tried to force it away.

...

When Mr. Stark invited Peter to the Avengers Compound for a week during the summer, Peter had hesitated. He knew that it would cause problems with Wade, and he really didn’t want to do that. But it was such an amazing opportunity. In the end, he decided to lie and say that he was going on vacation with Aunt May for the week. 

He felt horribly guilty for lying, but he thought it was better than the alternatives. Why upset Wade when it really wasn’t a big deal?

The week had been amazing, and although Peter had missed Wade, they texted practically nonstop. Peter could see Mr. Stark looking at him in concern when his phone kept buzzing, but he played it off as his Aunt May being worried. He hoped that was believable enough. 

When he got back, Peter felt like he was floating. He started to swing through the city, eager to see Wade. He was disappointed that he couldn’t tell him all about his week, but he missed his boyfriend. He wanted to kiss him and cuddle with him on the couch; to eat tacos and watch the sunset together. 

Suddenly, the web that he was swinging from snapped, and he felt himself go into freefall. He frantically shot up more web, just barely missing the ground by the time he caught himself. His balance was off, and his back slammed into the wall of the building next to him. He hissed at the painful impact, wincing as he dropped to the ground. 

“You lied to me, Peter,” Wade said coldly, and Peter blinked in shock. _When did he get there?_ Wade stood in front of him, staring him down with furious eyes. Peter opened his mouth to argue, but Wade cut him off. 

“You told me that you were going out of town with your Aunt May. I trusted you, and you lied to me,” Wade said, his voice almost in agony. Peter tried to ignore the guilt clawing inside his heart as he gulped. 

“How did you know?” he asked softly, and Wade laughed humorlessly. 

“Did you really think I wouldn’t check up on your story? All I had to do was check your apartment to see that May was still there,” he explained angrily. Peter felt fear creep up his spine. The entire time they had texted, Wade had _known_ , but he had never shown any signs. A realization suddenly hit Peter like ice being poured through his veins. 

“You shot my webbing?” he asked in shock, and Wade gave him a look that clearly said “obviously.” Peter was stunned, and it felt like a blow to the chest. He could have died from that stunt. He knew that Wade was hurt, but how could he have taken it _that_ far?

“How could you?” Peter asked in anguish and disbelief. Wade seethed. 

“How could _you_? How could you lie to me, knowing that I was here waiting for you to come back? I was here trusting you like a fucking idiot, and all the while, you fucked your stupid idol!” Wade yelled, and Peter shook his head vehemently. 

“I didn’t do anything with Mr. Stark,” Peter said firmly, but Wade shook his head. 

“Bullshit!” he cried out, and Peter gritted his teeth. 

“I didn’t. I’m sorry that I lied, but I didn’t want to upset you. But what you did back there was really messed up, Wade. You almost killed me!” Peter yelled. Wade’s expression suddenly changed, like he was going from Mr. Hyde back to Dr. Jekyll, which was something that Peter was growing more and more accustomed to. 

“Shit, Peter. I’m so sorry. You just, you have no idea how badly you hurt me. I wanted to end it all,” Wade confessed, and Peter froze. He couldn’t possibly be hearing that right. 

“I know that I can’t die, but I started looking for ways to change that; loopholes. I just can’t take it if you ever left me,” Wade said despondently, his eyes watering. Peter felt like he was going to be sick. It didn’t matter how angry he was; he _never_ wanted Wade dead. He walked towards the other man, who had started sobbing, and wrapped his arms around him. 

Wade melted into his embrace as he mumbled out “I’m sorry” over and over again, and Peter whispered soothing words in his ear. Wade had been there for Peter when he needed him most, so there was no way that Peter could abandon him now. He would help Wade get better; he had to. 

...

Peter kept telling himself that it was different. They weren’t the typical abusive relationship, so it must not be abuse at all. It was just complicated. Wade didn’t _want_ to hurt him; he loved Peter. He just couldn’t control himself all the time, and he needed Peter to help keep him from falling over the edge into that black hole that seemed impossible to escape. 

Peter tried so hard to save Wade, but it wasn’t working. He didn’t want to give up on the mercenary, because he loved Wade, and the other man was counting on him. But it was so hard to keep giving Wade the benefit of the doubt. Things were getting worse, not better, and Peter wondered if maybe _he_ was making things spiral down. 

They were fighting, yet again, over Mr. Stark, and Peter was screaming as much as Wade was. Wade smashed his head against the wall, stars dancing in Peter’s vision as the blood rushed to his head. The spot of impact was pounding, and Peter snapped. 

“I can’t take this anymore! Every time, you promise it will be the last, but it never is!” Peter yelled, tears welling in his eyes. The tears weren’t from sadness though; they were from resignation and anger, because Peter was finally done. He tried to walk to the door, but Wade gripped his arm like he always did and spun him back around.

“Baby, please don’t leave. I need you,” Wade begged, his demeanor back to Dr. Jekyll, but Peter had finally passed the point of falling for it. 

“No, Wade. I love you, but I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t constantly walk on eggshells because I’m afraid of how you’ll react. I’m sorry, but I’m done.” Peter’s voice was final, more so than it had ever been, and Wade must have sensed it too. Peter could actually see the panic set in; it flashed over Wade’s face as he paled, fear shining in his wide eyes. 

Peter turned to leave, but Wade grabbed him arms and spun him around again. Only this time, Peter felt something cold against the bottom of his chin. His eyes widened as he realized that Wade was holding a gun, pressing it firmly against his skin.

“Wa – Wade,” Peter said in disbelief, his heart racing, but Wade looked resolved and determined. 

“You can’t leave me, Peter. You can’t.” Wade sounded desperate again, but this time, Peter felt fear more than pity. He swallowed, feeling sick to his stomach. 

“Wade, please,” he whispered. His eyes were pleading, but Wade shook his head as if to clear his thoughts; to push away the things the boxes were saying. 

“You did this, Peter. You. You could have stayed with me, and we would have been fine, but you couldn’t. I can’t survive you leaving me; I can’t see you go running into Tony Stark’s arms like he’s your fucking knight in shining armor. I can’t do it, Peter. If I can’t have you, then no one will,” he said gravely, and Peter felt like his entire world crashed down around him. 

The younger man was stronger than Wade, but with the gun right on him, Wade would be able to pull the trigger before Peter could even push him away. All this time, Peter had thought they were different. He felt like a fool, and he now he was going to pay for his naivety. He wanted to cry, but he refused to give Wade the satisfaction. 

...

Peter should have known that this wouldn’t end with a happily ever after like the Disney fairytales. He should have been smarter, but hindsight is 20-20. Now, all that he can hope for is the same peace that Ariel felt when she transformed into spirit, feeling only the warm sun as her body dissolved.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated <3


End file.
